Stupid things you've said on calls

[medic_9]

Ok, not really said on a specific call. I have no idea where I got it from but I know I've said it a few times and I'm sure it sound's retarded.

Seeing a new baby, and trying to comment on the age / cuteness etc... (Did I mention that I'm not great with kids)

Me: Wow, they look fresh... :?

[Ridryder 911]

Best come back reply to a Doc.. After the ER Doc finished his exam on a typical B.S. patient the Doc told the nurse.. Aww... Screw him !.. the samrt arse nurse replied " I have to have a written order on that one!"... It stunned the Doc for a while.. as we all laughed.

R/r 911

[09E]

My partner and I had an EMT student last year and during his hx of our 90+ year old female patient, he asks "Any vaginal discharge". (Pt was a general malaise call) I am looking down at the floor in the ambulance trying not to explode in laughter, and thinking, WTF did that question come from. After the call while we were going over things my partner lets into him about that question, then he says "Well I was going to ask about her period"................ :sign3:

[Rezq304]

My partner and I responded to a cardiac arrest, the door was answered by an extremely sweet elderly lady who pointed us to her husband laying on the floor, she then disappeared into the kitchen. We started working the code, but every time I had a question she would pop out answer the question and then ask something like "are you boys hungry?", "I have cookies I just Baked" or "would you like a soda, I think I have Pepsi." So I found myself uttering the following phrase "CLEAR! (shock) no thanks ma'am we just ate, maybe next time."

I can see that now!

[ERDoc]

My partner and I had an EMT student last year and during his hx of our 90+ year old female patient, he asks "Any vaginal discharge". (Pt was a general malaise call) I am looking down at the floor in the ambulance trying not to explode in laughter, and thinking, WTF did that question come from. After the call while we were going over things my partner lets into him about that question, then he says "Well I was going to ask about her period"................ :sign3:

He will make a great internist some day, don't laugh too hard at him (okay, maybe the period thing).

I just had a crew bring in a CVA and the medic told me, "She doesn't have her dentures in but her gait is still off." Those must be some heavy dentures.

[ONTMedic]

Had a partner tell a pt in seizure to stop shaking as she had to take his blood pressure....!

He didn't listen

[Neesie]

I guess I can add mine now. We were on a call to a "general malaise". Got on scene and the person is lying flat on the floor and couldn't look much more dead. My partner ran downstairs to grab the AED. I started compressions. I am all alone with this dead person pushing on their chest when all of a sudden she opens her eyes and grabs my hands! :shock: I said without even thinking "holy shit don't do that!" I stopped compressions just as my partner comes upstairs. He asked why I was doing and howcome I wasn't doing compressions. He said is she dead? I said I DON'T KNOW!!! of course he thought I was off my rocker and gave me crap. I said fine watch this...I started compressions and she did the same thing. I don't think I have ever seen my partner look so freaked EVER!!! lol The woman died.

[paramedicmike]

I guess I can add mine now. We were on a call to a "general malaise". Got on scene and the person is lying flat on the floor and couldn't look much more dead. My partner ran downstairs to grab the AED. I started compressions. I am all alone with this dead person pushing on their chest when all of a sudden she opens her eyes and grabs my hands! :shock: I said without even thinking "holy Ca Ca don't do that!" I stopped compressions just as my partner comes upstairs. He asked why I was doing and howcome I wasn't doing compressions. He said is she dead? I said I DON'T KNOW!!! of course he thought I was off my rocker and gave me crap. I said fine watch this...I started compressions and she did the same thing. I don't think I have ever seen my partner look so freaked EVER!!! lol The woman died.

I've heard stories of this happening before. It's never happened to me. But I've heard others describe similar events.

I even talked with one guy who had a patient in his local with some sort of condition where, once CPR was started on him (usually by his family), he'd regain consciousness and be able to talk with you for the ride to the ER (where they were familiar with him, his condition and treatment) all while you were still doing compressions. The guy didn't remember the condition but had transported him twice when last we spoke.

But back to the topic at hand.

-be safe.

[Just Plain Ruff]

Was working with a Male nurse one night in the ER. We were getting ready to put a huge stomach pumping tube down this girls throat and she asked

"Is it like a (*)J0b????" and the male nurse said "Yes I'm afraid it is"

Funny thing was that this Nurse is a straight male nurse.

He turned beat red and to this day has never lived it down.

[medic_9]

Not me that was involved...heard it through the grapevine yesterday. Seems to have a better effect if read out loud.

Crew while on an emerg call had this conversation with (I'm assuming) an RPN:

RPN: (while giving history) "Now why would they write that the patient has roadside assistance on her chart?"

Crew: "huh?, what do you mean?"

RPM: "Yeah, it says right here that she has triple A."

LOL....The medic telling this story swears that it happened.