Stupid things you've said on calls

[whit72]

I use that statement all the time "how are you donig today" sometimes not my best choice of words.

I was dispatched to a residence for laceration to the hand. When we arrive I find a elderly female seated on the couch with a blanket over her lap. When we situate the chair and ask her if she can stand, she whips off the blanket revealing bilat. above the knee amps. She kindly states what do you think.

I kindley reply let me get this chair a little closer. and we can help you.

Felt like an idiot, wasnt the first time, sure it wont be the last.

[webby2525]

This is one of those kind of things where you wish you could say something smart back to the pt...Well, it wasn't me, but the medic who came on scene and was familiar with this particular pt.

Dispatched to a residence class 1 (L&S with ALS dual dispatched) for a hemmorage. Was advised that etoh was present other than that no info. Came on scene and knocked on the door. No one answered. Finally, opened the door and motioned to wait a minute. Finally pt comes out and is obviously intoxicated, said she wanted us to come back tomorrow to take her to the hospital. Medic says "Lady, we aren't the gas people, we can't just come back tomorrow" the look on my partners face was priceless. :-)

Edit- no hemmorage was present but it was a psych pt instead.

[Arachne]

I try to say something like "Hi, I'm ......, what's going on today?" rather than "How are you today?", for reasons that people have mentioned above.

On another note:

I used to take this nice, funny old lady to and from dialysis. She was a bilateral amputee. Whenever she has a new EMT taking her, she tells them that they forgot her shoes, and that she really needs her shoes. She says some EMTs start to head back to get them, and the rest can't figure out a good way to say, "but you have no feet".

[MedFire]

I once picked up a man with bilat lacs on his neck, 11 puncture wounds to his chest and one puncture wound to the adb. He walked out of the woods.

This is when you really hate asking the stupid questions when you already know the answers but you have to ask.

me: So were you trying to hurt yourself?

him: WTF do you think?

me: My guess is yes.

me: what are those scars from on your arms ( 1" wide by 12" long both arms right up the middle)

him: WTF do you think?

I was getting nowhere with this guy for obvious reasons.

me: this just dosnt look like you lucky day. Hey next time try a hunting knife with a hook at the end. Youll catch the jugular. (normaly i say it in my head. But something didnt keep in inside i said that all outloud. Opps. But we havent heard from him sense. guess he took my advice.

If i was this guy and tried that hard to kill myself i would be pissy to at someone patching me up and bringing me back to the one place that will save the life i was trying to take.

You all can shoot me now for not following the feel sorry for suicidal people thing. thats not me.

I guess you can only find this funny if you were there. hummmmm owell

[Rezq304]

MedFire....I know the feeling. For some reason, I find it VERY hard to bring my self to be compassionate to someone that tries to take their own life, especially pharmacologically. Now, that's not saying I'll not render care as appropriate, just the commpassion is hard to find.

[SSaint]

MedFire, I know the feeling.

My screw-up like that was while still a student, doing practical observation time.

My first day at the squad, our first call, was a woman who tried to OD on... Advil.

[Rezq304]

MedFire, I know the feeling.

My screw-up like that was while still a student, doing practical observation time.

My first day at the squad, our first call, was a woman who tried to OD on... Advil.

Those are the best....especially the look on their face when they've been told that all they're doing is taking away some old age and possibly going to die a painful death as their liver decays.

[SSaint]

Those are the best....especially the look on their face when they've been told that all they're doing is taking away some old age and possibly going to die a painful death as their liver decays.

How'd you know what I told 'em?!?!?

[MedFire]

Ha i had a girl try to overdose on some sleep med... damn I cant remember the name now... But its the one that you really cannot OD on cause you would have to take soo many pills you would just puke them back up.

Man was she pissed when I told her that those wont kill you and you need to take a godawful amount to even get sick off of them.

Ohh yeah and she tired to drink a bottle of generic cough med. hahhaahhah I asked if she was seeing pretty colors... turns out it didnt have the proper med in it like the tussin did... LOL

[SSaint]

It's people like that that make you almost want to hold seminars called "Suicide: Doing It Right"

Emphasis again on the "almost"