Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

[rat115]

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor say s it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet..

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand :

1. OTHER WOMEN

WE ALL NEED a SMILE!!

[Ridryder 911]

I seen a sign once that read: Only God can understand Women... I just wished he would share it !.. :roll:

R/R 911

[DwayneEMTP]

How to know you are a husband and a father?

You recognize every issue in rat's post!

Dwayne

[medik8]

Hmmm....I've never been guilty of a single one of those....EVER..... :roll:

LMAO

P.S....I love #10 under "The Things Only Women Understand". That is SO friggin hilarious!!!

xoxoxo

8

[PrissyEMT]

LOL- these are sooo true. One of my best friends is pregnant and due any day now- so after being around her all morning, I definitely need the laugh! Thanks Tonya!

[hammerpcp]

Are these the diagnostic criteria? :-k What is the treatment for "Estrogen issues"? I seem to have quite a sever case. :crybaby:

Is it terminal? :shock:

[medik8]

Is it terminal? :shock:

Only to the guy in your life....LMFAO!! :wink:

8

[JakeEMTP]

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

.

I don't have any estrogen issues ( I hope :shock: ), I think these can be used by the opposite sex.

As for the other's, I tend to watch from afar. They are all true, and scary if you ask me. LMAO!

Can I say sex here?

[medik8]

Nuh uh Jake....I don't think so.... :shock:

[N.S. ACP]

"Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women" ... Sounds like the title to a Horror Show!!! :tongue2: