boyfriend/work

[nsmedic393]

I think we are going a wee bit overboard here. First regarding professionalism, i think people are generalising. Is it unprofessional to talk on your phone in the ED, in the back of the truck or while driving? YES, of course. If you are parked at an intersection on stand-by?maybe yes, maybe no. If you are riding in the passenger seat while your partner is driving down the highway? I don't think so. At the base? What is the harm of talking on the phone while you are in your station.

If you are not blowing off your responsabilities ie, the truck is clean and stocked and there is nothing else to do, then what is the harm.

As far as considering talking on the phone stealing from your employer; give me a break. Are the six hours I spent watching TV today at work stealing also? You want to talk about stealing, how about taking someone else's property and destroying it. I would consider stealing someones phone and throwing it out a window far more unprofessional that talking on the phone itsself.

Really, if you aren't washing, cleaning, transporting, driving or studying do all of you sit and stare at the ceiling because it would be unprofessional to do anything else?

I agree with alot of points in this thread but I think some are going a little overboard.

[basic2be]

Thank you for all the opposite viewpoints! I also agree with a lot of the points of learning the trucks, protocals, maps etc.. As well as 60-90min of the shift spent on the phone as being excessive. But I still emphasize my original statement in that some systems you are not running gung ho all day and once your responsibilities are complete i see little harm in an quick phone call. Thanks again for all the input and i really appreciate learning from the contributors on this site.

"To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid"

--Random T-shirt

[Dustdevil]

But I still emphasize my original statement in that some systems you are not running gung ho all day and once your responsibilities are complete i see little harm in an quick phone call.

You have NO idea what he is in the middle of doing when you call him. None. If he is in the middle of patient care or driving, his phone ringing is a distraction, and a possibly dangerous one at that. At the very least, it is annoying and rude. If he is not in the middle of driving or patient care, he is at work for his employer and his partner. And if he is my partner, I want to be able to communicate with him without feeling like I am interrupting his q15 minute phone calls. And I don't want our communications interrupted for him to answer is goddamn cellfone just to say, "Nothing. What are you doing? Yeah, me too. I miss you, baby!" and ask about your day that isn't even over yet, and probably involves a HIPAA violation or two. Yes, somebody IS very likely to toss one of your phones out a window. And yes, one of you IS going to get fired over this. Don't forget, EMT's are a dime a dozen and easily replaced. As long as you say it took to get this job, I'd think he'd put a little more effort into keeping it. And if he loses it over your telephone obsession, it's going to be YOUR fault. How do you think that will affect your relationship? Think about it. Grow up. Keep your relationship at home. Be a professional at school and work.

[cosgrojo]

I've been together with my wife for almost 6 years. I've been in EMS the whole time. She gets 1 phone call a day while on an overnight. And sometimes (like last night) we were too busy, she didn't get any. Separate life from work. Create some extra seperation if you can. Work at work, live at home. You are already behind the 8-ball foir choosing someone else in EMS. When you guys break up... find someone outside of EMS to spend time with, they will increase your sanity levels by a factor of 10.

[hammerpcp]

And I don't want our communications interrupted for him to answer is goddamn cellfone just to say, "Nothing. What are you doing? Yeah, me too. I miss you, baby!"

Are you saying I should stop calling you, Dust?.................... LMAO:laughing8:

P.S. I miss you baby! :love7:

[AJ]

wow. guess i really opened up a can of worms with this. for those who actually offered decent advice, thank you, i appreciate it; we're working on setting aside 'us time' where we pretty much just disappear and hang out and talk and whatnot to keep from going crazy. for the rest of ya'll, methinks i need to set some things straight.

#1 i am not dumping him. we're looking at marriage. adolescent crush?? i think not.

#2 we're not new in this line of work. both of us have a few years under our belts - him in VA, me in PA.

#3 cell phones - neither company has a problem with providers using personal cell phones for personal calls, so long as the provider is not on a call/with a pt, and has paperwork pretty well caught up and the truck is ready to go. we don't talk long, and NEVER with a pt. if i key him up and he doesn't answer me i know he's busy and he will get back to me when he gets the chance, and if he keys me up when i'm busy i don't answer. it's as simple as that. and as far as his preceptor complaining about it, he was in the back of the ambo, on the way back from the hospital, no pts, the two up front were talking, his mom called him with an update on his grandfather (who is in the hospital with some serious issues) and he passed it on to me. it's as simple as that. it's not like we spent an hour talking about stupid little stuff.

#4 company vs company - most of the providers in our company love to hate their company. it's pretty much a big territorial war b/t the two (which i refuse to get into) and i wasn't working when i was helping him put his truck back together. i was doing ride time as a paramedic student. and even if i was working i still would have helped him put his truck back together, because it's rude to stand there and stare at someone who is trying to clean up their truck and get it back in service without offering to help.

#5 ISLAND EMT - raging hormones??? where in the world do you get off saying that, i haven't met you, you havent' met me, so how would you know? some people do know what the words purity and abstinence and reserving physical relations for marriage mean. i do. do you?

#6 NSMEDIC - thank you for a little bit of sanity.

as for the rest of you who think we should break up, or will end up breaking up, see pt #1 again. then go find a corner to cry in because you can't have a relationship like we have. i didn't post any of that original post for ya'lls to tell me i'm screwed and have absolutely no chance to succeed. if it weren't for him i would have dropped out of medic school a while ago, not because i can't do it but because in those rough times where i've needed someone he's been the only one there for me. anyone else wants to bash us go ahead, just remember that not everyone fails at an EMS relationship. yes we've had our rough spots but we've come through each one stronger than ever. i don't need any of you to make things worse. now go away and leave us alone. stupid naysayers.

oh yeah. have a nice day.

[flight-lp]

I need some Compazine because after reading that I am now nauseated.....................

Word of advise, if you do not want to hear what we have to say, don't open yourself up with further posts.

[AJ]

advice yes, degredation and insults no! i have enough people tearing me down right now, i don't need ya'lls doing that too. isn't it enough to have to deal with my co-workers? oh wait, that's right, i'm a paramedic student. that makes me fair game for anyone who wants to take pot shots at me. thanks for your help, and to those of you who actually offered non-judgemental advice it is much appreciated. for the rest of you, go kiss a truck, or why don't you go gargle about 9 pounds of concrete?

[Just Plain Ruff]

///Rant on

AJ STEP AWAY FROM THE KOOLAID

i just don't understand AJ you obviously have been on this site before and you have obviously read the posts here before. The advice I saw a lot of people give you was really good advice and now you come back all insulted and such and basically tell us all off.

You asked for advice, if you didn't want to hear it then that's not our problem.

As for the keying up your boyfriend or him keying you up that makes it sound like you have one of those walkie talkie type phones. Well in my opinion those are even worse cause you cannot put those on vibrate. During calls and not during calls when the phone gets keyed up then that's annoying.

You say you are serious about your boyfriend and you want to get our advice on what to do with the time that you have together. I'd cherish the time you have together. EVERYONE on this site knows that it can all be taken away in an instant.

AS for the turf war or fighting between the companies, you are surprised that some people in your company have a problem with you helping out the other service. You have to realize that the rivalries between services are pretty significant and you helping out the other company could be considered bad form. You have heard your fellow EMS'rs and they have made it known that you are not toting the company line or the unwritten rule that you don't fraternize with the "enemy" and you could be out on your ear before you know it.

I am sure that your boyfriend going over to the other side pissed a lot of people off and I am sure that there is a lot more behind your boyfriends not advancing in the company than what you told us. I can imagine what those things are but I am not about to speculate or put them here cause like you said in your nasty little post that "I don't know you and you don't know me" (address to Island) so let's not go there.

So in synopsis ---- (to make a long post short ---- too late) you came here for our advice, there are a lot of people who have been in EMS a hell of a lot longer than you have and we all have much more experience than you in these things than you and you tell us to go gargle with 9 gallons of concrete.

Before you open a "Can of worms" like you said, be sure you pick the right can.

///rant off

[medic001918]

///Rant on

AJ STEP AWAY FROM THE KOOLAID

i just don't understand AJ you obviously have been on this site before and you have obviously read the posts here before. The advice I saw a lot of people give you was really good advice and now you come back all insulted and such and basically tell us all off.

You asked for advice, if you didn't want to hear it then that's not our problem.

As for the keying up your boyfriend or him keying you up that makes it sound like you have one of those walkie talkie type phones. Well in my opinion those are even worse cause you cannot put those on vibrate. During calls and not during calls when the phone gets keyed up then that's annoying.

You say you are serious about your boyfriend and you want to get our advice on what to do with the time that you have together. I'd cherish the time you have together. EVERYONE on this site knows that it can all be taken away in an instant.

AS for the turf war or fighting between the companies, you are surprised that some people in your company have a problem with you helping out the other service. You have to realize that the rivalries between services are pretty significant and you helping out the other company could be considered bad form. You have heard your fellow EMS'rs and they have made it known that you are not toting the company line or the unwritten rule that you don't fraternize with the "enemy" and you could be out on your ear before you know it.

I am sure that your boyfriend going over to the other side pissed a lot of people off and I am sure that there is a lot more behind your boyfriends not advancing in the company than what you told us. I can imagine what those things are but I am not about to speculate or put them here cause like you said in your nasty little post that "I don't know you and you don't know me" (address to Island) so let's not go there.

So in synopsis ---- (to make a long post short ---- too late) you came here for our advice, there are a lot of people who have been in EMS a hell of a lot longer than you have and we all have much more experience than you in these things than you and you tell us to go gargle with 9 gallons of concrete.

Before you open a "Can of worms" like you said, be sure you pick the right can.

///rant off

+1 for a well spoken post. I have to agree that you shouldn't ask for advice if you don't want to hear it. No matter what it might be. My service allows us to use our cell phones as well when we're at work. As long as you're not with a patient. As for your example about your boyfriends preceptor having a comment about the phone, that tells us that he's new to the truck and/or service. As someone who is learning under someone else, there's things that you can pay attention to and learn. Study a map. Learn the truck. Read new protocols. Experience in another service doesn't mean much, you're new to the service you're with now.

Just as an FYI for Ruff, the walkie talkie phones can be put on vibrate. Mine is on silent all the time at work. So it's not much different then a regular phone call coming in. But then again, I don't use it on scenes and often times it's left in the truck.

Shane

NREMT-P