Bystanders

[aussiemedic]

What is the weirdest bystander you have ever had come up to and try and take over what you are doing?

I once was treating a patient when a guy came and said he was a doctor, and under policy, we have to let doctors help. Anyway, this guy sat down with my patient and started asking about his home life and how he was generally feeling (he had a fractured leg - how do you think he would feel) and started counselling him.....

Turns out he was a doctor of psychology, and had no medical training.......

Another one was at a car accident, where I was treating a female with a suspected punctured lung (well is it? how do I know - I am not a damn x ray machine nor do I have one in my back pocket) who under stress had an hyperventilation episode. I managed to talk her out of the hyperventilation and get her breathing normally... when this woman comes up to me and says "Out of my way, I am a nurse" and pushed me away from the patient... and then says "Breath like your having a baby" and induces the hyperventilation again. Then the bus rocks up to get her and the nurse is no where to be seen.... did some chasing up though... she was a maternity nurse.....

There are probably hundreds more I can think of, like "I have a senior first aid certificate that is higher than the qaulifications I have" and my reply is "paramedic is the highest you can get in the prehospital care field", "no, I have senior first aid and I know what I am doing". Meanwhile, I am splinting a fracture, administering pain relief, etc something a person with a senior first aid cert cannot do.....

Any way.. lets all have laugh at someone elses expense....

I am supposed to be heading to a meeting

Tim

[akroeze]

Pretty common but...

The other day we were sent to a poss hip # from a fall at a party. Elderly lady and she was the only sober one there. Of course one of the first things I did was start to assess her C-spine when one of the drunks behind me says "Hey buddy, she didn't hit her head at all... it's just her hip, how many times do I have to tell you? How about you do something for her??" I explained it to him and like two seconds later when I start palpating her C-spine he says something like "Look man, how many times do I have to tell you, it's her hip!"

Drunks...

[Beagle189]

Late one night - Dispatched to an altercation victim at a convenience store. PD on scene. We arrive - 3 males and a LEO standing in parking lot, one w/ severe epistaxis and facial hematoma. LEO is questioning victim who is extremely irate. I try to assess him and calm him down when he points to a car going b and says that's the man who attacked him. LEO jumps in his car and gives chase. Now again I try to assess the pt - calmed him down when 2 guys on bicycles ride up. I didn't really look at them just notice them, they have no weapons visible,One is over 6 foot and 300 lbs. The big bicyclist walks up behind me and starts a conversation w/ the pt. Starts telling him he's a wimp and he's drunk and deserves the bloody nose etc..etc.. The pt gets upset, his buddies get upset and things a turning bad. I turn around to tell the A** to get away or I'll do something and discover it's the Head ER Doc (off duty). Now, he is known to be the type to give a person crap just for fun and this was his idea of a joke on me. I told him to leave and he turned around mouthing the whole time while I try to hold the other yahoos off him. There's more action and "words" said but I can't really tell the story better.

He really gets a laugh telling that story in the ER.

For some reason I don't think it's too funny.

[chazmedic]

We had a call at the high school gym for a seizure. Call upgrade to a code blue (cardiac arrest). This wasn't just a game. It was the regional playoffs. 4000 spectators minimum. The patient is an older male on the floor in full view, seizing like crazy. Head injury looking. I'm thinking in my calm, professional mind "CR@P!". Fortunately, I'm just assisting another crew with a new medic. Suddenly, this guy jumps in and yells "I'm ordering you to stop, load him up and go to the hospital! Don't do another thing!" We ignore him. This guy suddenly hits me in the back the head and yells "DID YOU HEAR ME!??!" I turn around and punch him in the chest, knocking him back about 3 feet. I then calmly shriek "DON'T EVER F%^&#$@ TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I then turn to the Police Chief who was standing there and say (again calmly) "YOU CAN SHOOT HIM ANYTIME NOW!" It suddenly dawns on me that the gonging sound I was hearing was the pins dropping on the gym floor with the 4000 spectators staring. Did I mention the camcorders I am now noticing? I then hear someone say "He just hit Doctor Somebody!'

Sigh.

Turns out he's a surgeon (sigh) from another town and thought he would help out the idiots in uniform. He called our ER med control doc and proceeded to cuss him out. Doc Sam asked him what made him think he could help in the middle of the gym floor and did it somehow resemble a surgery suite? I love that Doctor.

[Acosell]

Last week we did a call for an overdose. We assessed our patient and moved her to the ambulance. I was driving, so I went up front, opened my door and **SHOCK** there was her piss drunken uncle. Partner had told him he could ride up front without telling me. Ok, thats fine, so! As soon as I sit down dispatch calls us for a status check.

Dispatch: "4294 Call Dispatch"

The Drunken uncle snatches up the mic and in a slurred voice shouts "4 niner HERE!"

yikes. I regain control over the mic and give our pt. report to dispatch. As we're pulling away from the scene, the drunken uncle reaches over to my console and says "HEAYY!!! BUTTONS! CAN I PUSH THE BUTTON!?!" as he smashed his drunken hand all over my siren. Woke up the neigbourhood there....