Dustdevil in Iraq-with pictures!

[kevkei]

Almost! I head to Canadia for a farewell trip on Monday.

Then I return to the US and ship out the following Sunday. Soooooo.... 9 days?

So, I take it your passing on visiting us out west this time around?

[SooC]

Thats right Kev, he likes us Ontarians better :wink: jk...and lets hope dust's ego doesnt get too big- 7 pages on his 'farewell' thread :shock:

[kevkei]

Thats right Kev, he likes us Ontarians better :wink: jk...and lets hope dust's ego doesnt get too big- 7 pages on his 'farewell' thread :shock:

Actually, he couldn't cut the mustard in Alberta registering with ACP so went to Ontario instead! :twisted:

[SooC]

Touche!

[Medic One]

The wife and I will keep you in our thoughts everyday. Forward an address to me so we can ship in some ice wine, we are pros at sending desguised beverages to family in Iraq.

We'll keep the light on.

Mike Salvatore & Lisa Vieira-Salvatore MD

Here are some tips to prepare you for your trip, this is from some past experience when I was deployed in round one.

1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.

2. Replace the garage door with a curtain.

3. Three hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend

whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and

mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."

4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the

middle of your bathtub and move the shower-head down to chest level.

Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the

toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet itself. Leave two to

three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it

altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop

using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives

at least a quarter mile away.

5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.

6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking

chair and dump dirt on your head.

7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it

on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.

8. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have

your family vote on which movie to watch and then show a different

one.

9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for

proper noise level.

10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

11. Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making

sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's

house. Laugh at him when he curses you.

12. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up

garbage in the other side of your bathtub.

13. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and

jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.

14. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in

your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in

an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.

15. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night.

When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as

you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard

and breaking out the garden hose.

16. Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put

it back together again.

17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or

six hours before drinking.

18. Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their

strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months.

Exchange clothes with them.

19. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee

table and lie under it to read books.

20. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and

back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your

head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.

21. Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to

the bathroom with you. And bring your gun and a flashlight.

22. Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in

case." Every time.

23. Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to

you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then

say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."

24. Wash only 15 items of laundry per week. Roll up the semi-wet

clean clothes in a ball. Place them in a cloth sack in the corner of

the garage where the cat pees. After a week, unroll them and without

ironing or removing the mildew, proudly wear them to professional

meetings and family gatherings. Pretend you don't know what you look

or smell like. Enthusiastically repeat the process for another week.

25. Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily

armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a

tent in a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to

help them.

26. Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for

Malaria.

27. Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a

morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.

28. Shoot a few bullet holes in the walls of your home for proper

ambiance.

29. Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and

fragmentation.

30. While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and

culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before

proceeding

31. Fire off 50 cherry bombs simultaneously in your driveway at 3:00

a.m. When startled neighbors appear, tell them all is well, you are

just registering mortars. Tell them plastic will make an acceptable

substitute for their shattered windows.

32. Drink your milk and sodas warm.

33. Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.

34. Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel

you placed outside the front door before they come in.

35. Make your family dig a survivability position with overhead cover

in the back yard. Complain that the 4x4s are not 8 inches on center

and make them rebuild it.

36. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.

37. When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the

exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web

page. Type up an 1149 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the

paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your

son the gum.

38. Announce to your family that the dog is a vector for disease and

shoot it. Throw the dog in a burn pit you dug in your neighbor's back

yard.

39. Wait for the hottest day of the year and announce to your family

that there will be no air conditioning that day so you can perform

much needed maintenance on the air conditioner. Tell them you are

doing this so they won't get hot.

40. Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order

yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate

the next deployment you've been ordered to support.

[Dustdevil]

LMAO! That's hilarious stuff! And oh so true! :shock:

I have a few more days of anti-terrorist and NBC training and then should be flying out before next weekend. I only get online access occasionally here, and not for very long since there is a line of other people waiting. I skipped lunch today to sneak on for a bit.

At least I'll have a laptop after Monday, so I can get online from my room! I'll catch up with y'all soon.

Thanks to everybody for your kindness and concern! :notworthy:

[SGT.M]

Well I guess I better practice my 9 lines I don't want to get my ass chewed off by the chief. see ya in the sand box.

be safe

[Nate]

So today I had the pleasure of having lunch with Dustdevil. Took him to Willies Ice House for lunch, and then we ran some last minute errands for him. I have to say that he is just like he is on the message board.

So enjoy the sand box, if you need anything I can get it for you, and don't forget....hookers + military base = good side business :wink:

[TechMedic05]

and don't forget....hookers + military base = good side business :wink:

Yeah, if you have a secret stash of penicillin.

Dust, be safe out there. Or if you can't be safe, then no dieing. It's a rule around here, y'know.

[Nate]

Yeah, if you have a secret stash of penicillin.

Dust, be safe out there. Or if you can't be safe, then no dieing. It's a rule around here, y'know.

Yeah...as a pimp your not suppose to use your own product.