40 Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud

[SingleLovingLife]

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You Remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. Just because you are misunderstood doesn't mean you are an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. like humor. but different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job (marriage, life, etc.) for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you really marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder ... my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

[Defiant1]

hey single, you forgot some

41. if i throw a quarter, will you leave?

42. you know what, you make retards look like einstein.

43. here's a knife, go play with it.

and my personal favorite, along with my away messege for AIM

44. i'm sorry, i'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and messege, i'll ignore you as much as i can

[JakeEMTP]

Very funny SingleLovingLife.

I do have some of those in my repertoire. . Some I use on a regular basis, particularly this one, " Do I look like a people person to you?"

On second review, I can see at least 6 that I could use with pt's, if it was appropriate. :wink:

[TechMedic05]

Very nice, very nice! I learned a few new ones to add to the collection

[AZCEP]

45. Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you.

46. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

47. He's a regular legend in his own mind.

[hammerpcp]

Special news buletin......this just in. Hammerton EMS will now be changing it's motto form "promoting and protecting quality of life and public safety" to "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed." :shock:

[emswife]

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you mistake me for someone who cares?" I like to use this on my teenage son when he gives me lame excuses for not getting his @&$% done.

[Just Plain Ruff]

How about

HEY Step away from the KoolAid

[lfdrescuediver]

I find this one appropriate for EMS, FF and for some of those other "finer" moments in life; "Let me drop everything and work on YOUR problem."

My favorite for my teenage daughter:"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself"

[emswife]

I like that one, think I'll use it on my teenage son since I've had many conversations with him where he is obviously engaged in the conversation at the time, and later he didn't remember what I was saying at all, even admits that he agrees with what I said, but only remembers what he was saying and what he "thought" I was saying based on his end of the conversation! Maybe I just don't speak "teenager"....