Severe Burnout

[FireMedic_1979]

Hello all, first off.....great site...glad I was able to find it. Unfortunetly my reason for coming is to seek help. I was wondering if there might be any kind of support service out there...for EMS workers that suffer from severe burnout and stress. I think I really could use it BAD......I mean BAD. Myself and even some co-workers could use it. I've kept quiet for a long time about the issue, but it's to the point now where I need to take action. It's not really something I feel I can go tell my employer, or take a psych leave, or anything like that. We had one guy do that years ago....and his reputation was absolutely destroyed....he was totally outcasted. My employer and most fellow co-workers dont take to that well....so it's not really an option. I figured there has gotta be something out there for guys like myself.

When I read through some of the other posts on here about burnout, I realize that what I'm feeling is far from the norm. I think it's compounded by the fact that I tend to hold everything inside....people I work with would never know I was feeling negative at all....I'm very good at covering up true feelings and keeping everything inside. So really, this is the first time I've came forward to discuss it openly. I mean yeah, we have our little chats here and there in real life....but I've never really revealed how bad this is actually affecting me.

Well, let me sort of let you in on what I feel. Maybe there are some that actually are having the same problem(s). I've been a medic now for going on 8 years. I've worked in the privates, some part time fire based EMS services, and currently I'm working for a career fire dept as a firefighter/medic. I cant really say that we are overly busy....we really arent. We average maybe 5 or 6 calls per 24 hour shift. But for some reason....my stress level keeps increasing more and more. Part of it is, I mainly want to fight fires. But as you all know.....fire depts today are 90% EMS calls. That is part of it I think....the stress of really not getting to do what you want to be doing. You probably are thinking...well go to a different fire dept that is strictly fire.......well I am....I've taken tests and will continue to do so until I can get out.

I'm just basically 110% sick and tired of every part of the job. It has nothing to do with seeing bad calls, or tough calls, etc. It's just being sick of the routine. I'm tired of paperwork, and computer reports. Tired of getting up in the middle of the night. Tired of being absolutely nothing more than a glorified taxi service...transporting people that should be going in a car. There is nothing that really gets me adrenaline going at all......even on what is considered a "good" call. It's just not there anymore. It's to the point now where I just always feel negative......and every single time I hear the tones my stomach turns, and I just feel absolutely miserable inside. The only thing that makes me feel good is knowing that at 7 am....it'll be over...and I dont have to worry about it for 2 days.

This not only takes it's toll on my work life. On my days off, I can only keep thinking about how I have to go back. My family notices that I'm always quiet. I've had outbursts at my dad...who absolutely doesnt deserve it. I've been having depression, difficulty sleeping.....and sometimes even this same dream where I'm riding around in an ambulance, and I just cant get out. And the worst part about it....my patient care and skills are begining to decline. The only thing I find that helps me....is at night to just lay there and imagine that I dont have to do it anymore...getting hired by a fire dept....and doin only fire related calls and EMS assists. I'd hate to say it...but when that day comes I think I'm gonna drop everything....my certs I mean. I'd love to keep it, and try to make it work as a part time job....but this is just to much.

Well...in a nutshell....there you have it. I'm pretty much a disaster inside.....just torn to pieces by this. Any advice or suggestions...or referrals to the right place would help......thanks

[chbare]

FireMedic_1979, I do not think advice over the net is going to help you out. This is just my opinion, however, it sounds like you are having some serious issues that are causing allot of problems and harming your personal and professional life. You need to get help and talk with someone who can help you through this. It also sounds like you need to get away from your current work situation quickly, who cares what people think if you take a LOA or talk with your employer, it is more important that you get help and prevent a potential disaster. I do not know where you live or the resources in your community, but perhaps start by talking with your doctor or other primary care provider in addition to getting out of your current work situation.

Good luck and please take care of your self,

chbare.

[Scaramedic]

First of all I commend you on seeking advice and help, that's not easy. I agree with chbare, start by talking with your PCP he can then refer you to someone. I also have to ask, can you change duties from FF/Para to just firefighter? If not you might want to think of a career change if counseling does not work for you. Your well being is important, so do not sell yourself short working in a position that is hurting your personal life.

Good luck,

Marty

:thumbleft:

[hammerpcp]

It sounds like you are on a slippery slope my friend. The previous advice is good. I would like to emphasize even more to you that you need to go off work now! You know that catchy little saying "Do no harm"? You are not in compliance by your own admission. I suggest you take your leave while the leave is still yours to take.

I commend you for addressing this issue but here will not be where you find the help you need.

[Michael]

Yes, yes, and yes.

[hfdff422]

Are you sure you are in the right line of work? I am not trying to be mean, but the whole point of being in EMS and fire is to get out of the station. The tones should be a relief. My concern is that you got into it for the "fire side" and are not wired for the granny runs. Always wanting the "big one" and being disappointed 95% of the time is certainly going to burn you out. In most areas the fire service is no longer that (at least if they are willing to address the truth) it is EMS and public service (as you have pointed out) with the added benefit of an occasional fire to put out. I would suggest taking a LOA and getting some psych help the same as the others have metioned. Just take a general leave and go to a psychologist on your own to protect your reputation.

Mabye another career altogether would be more to your liking.

[lfdrescuediver]

All the given advice above is great. If you're not sure where to start, you're employer may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Usually the personnel manager will have information on how to get in touch with them. You can also try contacting your dispatching center. They may be able to put you in touch with people in your area that do Post-traumatic Stress Debriefings. With either of these, you should be able to avoid any info getting back to your employer or your co-workers. I can sympathize with you, I just went through something similar myself. Rural volly squad with only 4 EMT's, the other 3 work days. A lot of the "frequent flyers" call during the day. At least I was able to take a break. It was hard to listen to my own department needing mutual aid, but it had to be done. Do what you have to do to keep yourself healthy mentally and physically. There are always other jobs out there, but only one of you. Don't let your job become your life.

[Ridryder 911]

I have been so burned out on multiple times, Kentucky Fried has nothing on me. Seriously, most people don't truly understand what burn out is. Some even describe that there is really no such thing. But, others call it "stomp out"...

Basically, it is really not performing your job that gets you down and it usually happens more often in lower call volume areas than busier ones. Being prepared for "the big one" at all times with in-between down time, can grate on ones nerves. Usually as others describe, it usually is caused as well by other underlying problems. There are different degrees of "burn- out". Unfortunately burn out is contagious as the flu and more powerful than someone on crank. Bad attitude (which can be a symptom) runs rabid among staff & is hard to control.

I also suggest some personal counseling, this will help more areas than you are aware of. Along with this they will be able to help direct you in preparing and noticing the signs, maintaining prevention of it re-occurring. If one is not careful it will and can affect you physically and permanently. It can literally kill you with stress, and increase disease process as well as poor immune system.

I wish you good luck, hang in there... please get professional counseling and you will see and feel the difference.

R/r 911

[medik8]

Unfortunately, I do not have much to add. Everyone is right on target and gave great advice. I feel your pain, hon...I went through a few tough times myself, although I do have to admit it sounds like you are going through much much more than I ever have. Please remember we are here to listen, but you DO need to talk to someone professionally. Thank you for realizing that there is a problem. You can help a million people, but in the end, your happiness is what is important. Please don't ignore the warning signs of depression and helplessness you are feeling. I want you to be happy, healthy and safe. Please don't let it get to the point where it continues to affect your family and health to the point of no return. After all....you are family...

I wish you the best...

xoxoxo :wink:

Luv, 8

[RogueMedic]

Having trained on both sides of the house I can truly say that I do understand your problem in general of course. The only thing that I hope to add is not to devalue the good that you serve on the EMS side of the house. Don't worry about what someone says if you opt to take some personal time to re-evaluate your position. It does sound to me as though your entire department would benefit greatly from a little "couch time" of sorts. Have you considered being an instruictor for your local Fire Academy? It's not the same as being a on the "Bucket Brigade" but you would be ensuring that future "Hose Jockeys" do it right. I would also recommend some Skilss training or a refresher just to make sure that your skills do not wither away.

All in all you have reacehd the proverbial fork in the road and the only person that can help you decide which direction to head is YOU. I hope that which ever road that you take, you find what it is you are really seeking; "Peace of Mind". Good Luck.