Severe Burnout

[Just Plain Ruff]

Pumpernickel how long have you been in EMS? If this is your first and only job then maybe before leaving ems all together you should try a different service.

There are bad people in all areas of all jobs. I've worked in many different fields and every field has it's bad arseholes.

Good luck in whatever you end up doing.

So what did your medical director say that the issues were? You need to take a look at those issues that were brought up and think about them. If they were vague then you may have gotten on one person's bad side and if that is the case, it could be a he said she said situation

Go back and think about what was said and I'm sure you'll find some semblence of the truth.

Or you can take the easy way out and quit. I'd fight this if I were you.

[TTLWHKR]

I just don't know what to do

[Asysin2leads]

Pumpernickle, I'm sorry that one bad experience has left you with a bad taste in your mouth, but I urge you to not give up and try again, perhaps you just need a change of shift or even employer. There are just plain bad people in this field. In the classic movie, WarGames, one of the final lines is "The only winning move is not to play." This is my attitude towards interoffice politics. I might vent once in a while to a coworker, but I don't back stab, and I pretty much ignore anything bad thats said about me behind my back. Its not that I don't respect my co-workers, its just that I really don't care what they think about me. If all else fails, find the person who's doing it, wait until they're in a public place, and call them on it. Let everyone know you know what was being said and give your plain, honest, andd simple opinion of what you think about it and what you think of the person who did it. Sure, you might get labeled as a psycho, but its always better to be feared than loved, anyway.

[somedic]

Ahh Asysin2leads!...Great words of inspiration and hope...I especially like the "Its better to be feared than loved "part.

Its very true as if you are feared people will always find reasons to love you.

Great to see your input here.

Somedic

[Asysin2leads]

You know whats funny, "Its better to be feared than loved" is actually from "The Prince". Machiavelli really got a bad rap.

[somedic]

Asysin2leads: Thats exactly right. And yes I agree that Machiavelli got a bad rap. Its probably because he was an enlightened cynic that could always find ways to exploit people with their weaknesses.

There is a great book that came out a few years back (2000) called Machiavelli on Modern Leadership. by Michael Ledeen.

This was an excellent interpretation of Machiavelli's views in a modern context.

I'd require Machiavelli study for all new employees in my department if I could.

Pumpernickle: you have some great advice from people myself and others I respect a lot on here. What is your next move?

[I Love Pumpernickle]

Again, thank you for the replies.

To answer some of the questions posted here since my last post:

Ruffems wrote: Pumpernickel how long have you been in EMS?

A: In total, 8 years

Ruffems wrote: So what did your medical director say the issues were?

A: He never really elaborated on one specific thing, but I knew personally that I was having trouble with IV's, and had been going to the ER dept. of local hospitals for extra shifts on my own in order to be able to practice them, but obviously this wasn't enough? I was put thru many scenarios, and didn't seem to have a problem doing any of them.

somedic wrote: Pumpernickle: you are displaying a lack of maturity and situational awareness. you've been given advice by good people here on the forum. If quitting and losing is in your blood then quit...its so much easier to quit and go to work flipping burgers or being a telemarketer. Backstabbing is a fact of life in many EMS systems if you want friends join the FD or get a dog...

A: I don't think I'm "displaying a lack of maturity", as you put it, because what I'm writing about here happened to me roughly about 3 years ago, and I've been having a hard time dealing with it ever since. I've tried giving my co-workers the benefit of the doubt, thinking that maybe it REALLY WAS ME, and that my skills really did suck, so I tried harder. Nothing seemed to work. I didn't quit right away after my experiences here, I gave myself some time to see if things would change. Then I thought that maybe because I was new (I had recently come here from a different province), and because people had not gotten the chance to know me yet, that that's why I was being treated this way. I was never treated this way in the previous province where I used to work.

Maybe I'm asking too much, in thinking that my co-workers can also be my friends, because, as somedic wrote, if I want a friend, maybe I should get a dog??

And I thank you, Asysin2leads, for your words of wisdom, even though I don't think I'd ever be able to do what you suggested.

I am a kind-hearted person, and I'm beginning to think that that is my downfall. I am not "ruthless", like some others are. I take everything personally, and I honestly don't have a mean bone in my body. I think that's what drew me to paramedicine in the first place. I honestly love the job, I just can't stand all the back-stabbing that occurs behind the scenes. And I personally think there's no need for it. I'm being targeted for some reason and I don't know why? Maybe it's because I'm french? If that's it, then I know it's never going to get any better, because I'm always going to be french! I always try to rationalize everything, asking "why would someone want to treat me this way when I've done nothing to them?" I was raised to "treat others the way you'd want to be treated".....I'm beginning to think that I'm at a disadvantage because of the way I was raised.

somedic, I will pick up that book you suggested, and read it. It certainly won't hurt, and who knows, it may even help.

[Michael]

"Its better to be feared than loved"

>Caligula [12 AD - 41 AD] is described as aloof, arrogant, egotistical, and is generally portrayed as insane ... when there were not enough convicts to fight lions & tigers in arena, he threw in some spectators [an early form of precepting?] ... he often uttered "Let them hate me, so long as they fear me."<

[somedic]

Michael: HeHeHe I love that one from Caligula!

Pumpernickle: Its certainly ok to be kind hearted to those who are not your enemies. You should strive to be a honorable person as I believe you already are. In order to triumph over the bastards that screwed you..you need to enter in to the same dark area they are in to accomplish this. In other words you enter down to their level to fight them and come back when the fight is over to your normal decent self.

You have developed a support group on here practically overnight. As a Paramedic or PCP or what ever title you are stuck with, you can do great things for people in need quitting would not be of any help to the greater good.

Tell us more about your situation. And get to reading!

Somedic