MEMO to ALL EMS PERSONNEL (Hilarious!!)

[Jess]

[To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations

Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entrieswww.firehouse.com

Posted by Chief, on October 30, 2003 06:45 AM

[itku2er]

Hey Jess

glad to see you posting.....i will be in Tn in July so maybe we can get together for lunch ......my cousin goes back to the VA in JC then we can work on the plan later

"paws up," that is my favorite........oh well guess i will have to change it to PAWS DOWN.........its all in the wording 8)

Later

Terri

[Jess]

Hey Jess

glad to see you posting.....i will be in Tn in July so maybe we can get together for lunch ......my cousin goes back to the VA in JC then we can work on the plan later

"paws up," that is my favorite........oh well guess i will have to change it to PAWS DOWN.........its all in the wording 8)

Later

Terri

Yeah that would be great Terri! You'll have to let me know when you'll be here so we can go hang out or something. I'll give you my cell number in a PM sometime so you can get a hold of me.

[Mediclease]

loved this one jess.... I know a few patient that ar coo coo for coaco puffs...LMAO

[Defiant1]

thank you for enlightening me jess, now i know why the other EMT's frowned on me doing run reports! just kidding!