WARNING TO WALMART SHOPPERS

[itku2er]

The new Walmart store design has an automatic water mister to

keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of

distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness

the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle

and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs

frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

[Scaramedic]

My God, I can imagine the sounds in the Midol aisle of the store...

"Leave me alone" You hate me" "I'm so fat" "I hate you" You don't know what its like" "What are you looking at?" "No were not watching Football!!!" "are you sleeping with your partner?" "these cramps are killing me!"

Of course they're all intermingled with inarticulate screams and crying.

Peace,

Marty

:joker:

[EMS_Cadet]

Let's not even think about the condom section...

[bassnmedic]

I suppose on the contraceptive aisle there are screams of "Oh Dick!!!......Oh Jane!!!" and excessant moans and groans.

[fallout]

I bet the lingerie section is an interesting place also. "No, that bra doesn't make you look fat."

[itku2er]

My God, I can imagine the sounds in the Midol aisle of the store...

"Leave me alone" You hate me" "I'm so fat" "I hate you" You don't know what its like" "What are you looking at?" "No were not watching Football!!!" "are you sleeping with your partner?" "these cramps are killing me!"

Of course they're all intermingled with inarticulate screams and crying.

Peace,

Marty

:joker:

OH MARTY YOU KNOW WHAT IS COMING :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

later

T

[AnatomyChick]

My God, I can imagine the sounds in the Midol aisle of the store...

"Leave me alone" You hate me" "I'm so fat" "I hate you" You don't know what its like" "What are you looking at?" "No were not watching Football!!!" "are you sleeping with your partner?" "these cramps are killing me!"

That's funny right there.. I don't care WHO you are!

[CoyoteMedic]

Well, think of the garden area... and all the daiseys being pushed up.

stupid I know...

[windsong]

Isn't that funny walking into the area that has isles of clothing for children, so everytime you go there you hear laughter of children.

In the Women's Isle you can almost hear the sound of Does this make me look fat? Are the stripes going the right way?

In the Men's isle, you dont hear a thing, it's to quiet there, I guess we dont hear any complaints if we did it would go like this:

Their down to a 1/4 in the last, he's making the shot now, ooh he missed after the other guy grabbed his butt, wouldnt you??

When do men have time to shop? It's either Football: (men in tights chasing rubber shaped like a torpedo), Basketball: (men in very large shorts and T), keep jumping I can tell what's under there(thats what I've heard), Hockey:after so many shots to the face I'm surprised you still can smile and still have some teeth left, Golf:You can dress and look like a slob and golf at the most beautiful greens anywhere, whose gonna notice?, Soccer:It's not just a game anymore (riots), Baseball: A 2x4 is better a little hefty but still works wonder when batting, using rocks, socks and the likes.

Now as Terri said about the cows, and I say if everything became a rare commodity, they have those round noise maker's if you turn it over and back again, it moos, just imagine if you turn one over and heard intermingled with inarticulate screams and crying, men and their remote changer to be able to turn on and off at an instant this would all start and women taking a hammer to it.

[paramedicmike]

Men don't shop. We identify a need, go to the store, buy it, go home. There is no shopping involved.

If a guy decides he needs a new shirt he'll go to the store, pick up a shirt (which might or might not fit...color is unimportant), buy it and leave.

It's pretty simple. We can't afford to complicate our minds with thinking of such things. After all, we have all sorts of other stuff to think about. There's "sports, ESPN, sex, baseball, sex, foot ball, hey! she was hot!, is it hockey season yet?, damn! look at her!, did Tiger win again......have you seen his wife?" to keep our minds occupied.

And honestly, guys, how many would notice any of that stuff at wal mart anyway? I'm betting we'd tune most of it out.

...I'm sorry...what were we talking about?

-be safe.