Darwin Award candidates

[Just Plain Ruff]

Stupid Human Tricks

#1 http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/9796905/detail.html

#2 http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/9792577/detail.html

I choose number 1.

[resqrat369]

yes #1 was the best. WTF was she thinking. RED NECKS!!!

[JPINFV]

I can see dinner at Canadite 1's house.

Hey, hubby, this chicken is delicious, where did ya buy it?

Umm, who ever said anything about "buying"?

[emtpsaveu911]

They have a show for these types of people , they can -- :violent1: :pain10: :boxing: to their hearts content...

GUEST APPLICATION FOR THE

JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

Personal Information:

Name___________ Nickname______________

CB Handle___________

Yore Mama Name______________

Yore Daddy Name(if known)________________

Spouse's Name_________________

Relationship to spouse:

___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father

___Pet ___Aunt ___Uncle

Occupation:

___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer

___Skinhead

Number of Children in Household___

Number that are yours___

Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4

How Far is Your Mobile Home

From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi. ___?

Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___

Number of Vehicles Owned___

Number on Cement Blocks___

Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull

___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice ___Rebel Flag

___Naked Woman Mud flaps ___NRA sticker

Weapons Owned: ___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle

___Beer Bottle ___Shotgun

Number of Dogs Owned: ___

Number of Homemade Tattoos: ___

Which of the Following Appliances are

in your Front Yard:

___Friggerator ___Heatin Stove ___Warsher

___TV ___Freezer

How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___

Fav-o-rite Recreation:

___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin

___Possum Huntin ___Crawdad Huntin

___Spittin Backy ___Scratchin

___Watchin Wrasslin

If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer:

___Soap Opera Digest ___Rifle and Shotgun

___NWA ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer

___True Confessions

Which Stinks Worse:

___Hogpen ___Outhouse ___Spouse

Can You Spell Your Last Name:

___Yup ___Nope

Can You Remember Your Last Name:

___Yup ___Nope

Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than

One Day: ___Yup ___Nope

Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters:

___Yup ___Nope

Which is Correct?:

___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"

How Many Cartons of Cigarettes

Do You Smoke a day? ___

Math Test: How Many Food Stamps

Do the Following Cost?

___Six Pack ___Ciggies ___Shotgun Shells

___Backy ___Prostitute

Number of Times You've Seen:

___a UFO ___ Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO

Health Questionnaire: Which of the

Following Do You Have?

___Head Lice ___B.O. ___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils

Can You Remember the Last Time

You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope

Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown ___Black ___N/A

I hereby swear this is the trooth and sign my "X" on

______________200__

http://www.oldhippie.com/rednecks/jerryspringer.htm

[Just Plain Ruff]

that was funny thanks for the laugh

[SC MedicMike]

Tough choice, but I'll go with number 1. It is amazing, though, that no charges were filed in #2!?!? But maybe Kansas City is on to something... let all the idiots shoot each other. Except that, being idiots, their aim is as off as they are.

Though not funny because an innocent child was hurt, here is a sample of some of our local idiots:

Stabbed, maced woman aims for attacker - runs over child

[Just Plain Ruff]

Very very many stupid people out there. I say we let the little girl when she gets better run over the woman who hit her.