you know you're in urban ems if...

[CTXMEDIC]

when the fat, pregnant, 20 year old white chick is sitting on the couch watching jerry springer and smoking marlboro reds and she called you because her 9 month old is having an asthma attack. and as youre trying to treat the 9 month old, 4 other kids of mixed races gather around you (all suspiciously appearing less than a year apart in age) to see whats goin on and the fat chick starts swearing at them, while dropping ash on their heads from the cigarette, and she appologizes for her "damn kids getting in the way". Oh and Jerry Springer? Hes on a 60inch plasma screen right below the last picture the fat chick took with her baby daddy on visitation day at the Hughs Unit.

[tamaith]

when you pick a pt up from dialysis and come out and to find your ambulance has been robbed.

[crotchitymedic1986]

when the churches in your zone have burglar bars on the windows and doors (and i dont mean the chicken church's). On a similar note, if you have more than two restaurants that offer chicken and waffles in your zone.

[Richard B the EMT]

On a similar note, if you have more than two restaurants that offer chicken and waffles in your zone.

Wow. What does that mean when you have, in a row, Church's, Kennedy's, Kansas, Popeye's, and KFC chicken places? None of them a drive through, either.

We have a few up in Harlem, quite close by the world famous Apollo Theater.

Clarify also: Chicken and waffles, as one offering on the menu, or just available from the menu, near each other?

[iMac]

when it takes less time to scoop and drop off at the nearest hospital than to start basic treatments in the truck.

[krumel]

....when you have certains bums which know how to write their own records/documentations. And they are imitating your documentation style exactly....

...when get called to an bum. When you decide to take him to a hospital he answers "Uhm, yeah, which days today?" "Thursday" "Ahh Thursday. Todays the day for the St. Elsewhere Hospital, tomorrow the university hospital!"

[exodus]

Wow. What does that mean when you have, in a row, Church's, Kennedy's, Kansas, Popeye's, and KFC chicken places? None of them a drive through, either.

We have a few up in Harlem, quite close by the world famous Apollo Theater.

Clarify also: Chicken and waffles, as one offering on the menu, or just available from the menu, near each other?

He's referring to roscoes! Roscoes chicken and waffles! It is literally, chicken and waffles together, with a butt load of gravy (yes gravy, not syrup)... There's one in East LA that I know of...

[AnthonyM83]

-When pedestrians purposely leisurely start walking across the street in front of your ambulance going L&S when you're already in the intersection.

-When you can be on-scene to a call, before it's dispatch is finished...and not a rare occurrence.

[Siffaliss]

... when your ambulance is stolen while you're calling a code in a house

... when you have a 21 year old retard on a crotch rocket trying to outrun you at 3am while you're responding hot

... when one of your co-workers dresses up like one of your frequent fliers for Halloween

[stcommodore]

When the bystander says the patient went to the "chinese store on the corner." and you have to ask which one cause each corner has four.