EMS Treating Animals

[Michael]

On shore, an emt octopus was performing CPR on a crustacean patient. A bystander called out, "Hey, you should do something about that man lying on the sand, gasping for breath!" The rescuer replied gruffly, "Can't you see I'm too octipied right now?"

[DwayneEMTP]

On shore, an emt octopus was performing CPR on a crustacean patient. A bystander called out, "Hey, you should do something about that man lying on the sand, gasping for breath!" The rescuer replied gruffly, "Can't you see I'm too octipied right now?"

I'm not sure CPR is withing his scope of practice....He should have waited for a sturgeon.

Dwayne

[Michael]

should have waited for a sturgeon

Sturgeon was taking too long deliberating mode of transport: roe vs. wade.

[kyle308]

Sturgeon was taking too long deliberating mode of transport: roe vs. wade.

lol

[akflightmedic]

those are funny

this was a feeble attempt at post 75000

[bassnmedic]

Sturgeon was taking too long deliberating mode of transport: roe vs. wade.

That there's funny, I don't care who ya are........lol

[Michael]

those are funny

feeble attempt at post 75000

Feeble? You have your priorities wrong.

Recognizing and rewarding excellence is the preeminent skill. It assures scene safety around unstable individuals. It is the determination of vitality vs. morbidity. It is triage. It is assessment. It enhances respiration. It supports circulation. It counteracts feelings of impending doom. It is patient advocacy. It professionalizes a vocation. It contributes to world peace.

A terrific post, a robust post. I feel better already.

[hammerpcp]

Hey dont laugh man!

I helped a vet do CPR ona horse once, while i did compressions (literally laying the knee in) his assisstant did mouth to nose and he shaved this horse with an electric shaver, pulled out the gel and shocked the crap outta it with a lifepak 10!!!!

Yes it lived...

Ahhh i defy anyone to show me "Field Surgery" like that - apparently horses, thunderstorms and fences in the dark along with arterial bleeds make horsie a vewy sick wittle pony.....................

:love4: :love5: :love7: :love1:

You all laugh, but I have picked up a pigeon and a seagull in the ambulance. Little did the pt who we subsequently picked up know that there was a bird in the garbage can all bundled up in sheets. Also, I have been called to a "pedestrian struck" and it turned out to be a four legged pedestrian who had been struck. We were cancelled prior to pt contact.

I agree that it would be silly to have EMS look after peoples pets. It just wouldn't work. However, don't be mistaken, this is not because human life is more valuable then non-human.

Dog CPR: Femoral pulse check-no pulse-compressions on left side of chest. Ratio of 15:2, compressions:ventilations. I think the new guidelines are coming out soon though..."Push harder Push faster"

[hammerpcp]

One of my partners did "abdominal thrusts" on her daughters fish. It had a pebble stuck in its gullet. It lived. They named it "Heimlich". True story.

Ha ha! You are so full of sh it.

[hammerpcp]

An octopus walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink. When it come time to pay up the octopus realises he forgot his money, so he makes a bet.

He says "I bet you a carton of beer that i can play ANY muscial unstrument that you throw my way"

The bar tender says, in his thick scottish brogue "Well laddy, thar be a piano over in them thar corner, play us a wee song"

The octopus jumps on starts playing the piano like some kind of musical genius. the bar tender think to himself holy crap! and then says;

"I say thar laddy, thar be a guitar in that thar corner, play us a wee tune"

The octopus grabs the guitar and starts cutting loose like jimmy hendrix!

The bar tender thinks for a moment, and pulls out his bag pipes, lays them on the bar. The octopus picks it up and stares at it for a while, stares even longer...................he's still staring....................

"Whatsa matter laddy? canna you play da bag-pipes?"

The ocotpus syas "Play it? Play it? If i can figure which way is up, im gonna f#%k it"

That is the funniest hting I have ever heard! LMAO! Ten points for Bushy.