Redneck Medical Terminology

[MedFire]

BENIGN................WHAT YOU BE AFTER YOU BE EIGHT

ARTERY...............THE STUDY OF PAINTINGS

BACTERIA............BACK DOOR TO CAFETERIA.

BARIUM................WHAT YOU DO WITH A PERSON WHEN HE DIES.

CESAREAN SECTION........... A NEIGHBORHOOD IN ROME.

CATscan................SEARCHING FOR YOUR KITTY.

CAUTERIZE............MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HER.

COMA....................A PUNCTUATION MARK

D&C.....................WHERE BILL CLINTON LIVES

DILATE.................TO LIVE LONG.

ENEMA................NOT A FRIEND

FESTER...............QUICKER THAN SOMEONE ELSE

FIBULA................A SMALL LIE

GENITAL..............NON-JEWISH PERSON

G.I. SERIES..........WORLD SERIES OF MILITARY BASEBALL

HANGNAIL............WHERE YOU PUT YOUR COAT IN THE CLOSET

IMPOTENT............DISTINGUISHED, WELL KNOWN

MEDICAL STAFF.... A DOCTOR'S CANE

MORBID..................A HIGHER OFFER THAN I BID

NITRATES..............CHEAPER THAN DAY RATES

NODE....................I KNEW IT

PAP SMEAR...........A FATHERHOOD TEST

PELVIS...................SECOND COUSIN TO ELVIS

POST OPERATIVE....A LETTER CARRIER

RECOVERY ROOM......A PLACE TO DO UPHOLSTERY

RECTUM....................RIGHT NEAR KILLED HIM

SEIZURE....................ROMAN EMPEROR

TERMINAL ILLNESS.....GETTING SICK AT THE AIRPORT

TUMOR......................MORE THAN ONE

URINE.....................OPPOSITE OF YOU'RE OUT

VARICOSE.............NEARBY

Something I found hope you enjoy.

[emtmoira]

Seen this before makes me laugh every time!

[Medic64]

Optirectitis--a condition where the optic nerves and the rectal nerves intertwine, becoming infected, causing you to have a "shitty" outlook on everything.

[tunnelrat83]

that is great.. haven't seen that before... laughed so hard it hurt...

[jollys_suicide_medic_nick]

Paramedics- Another way to say A pair of medics.

[Jess]

LOL! I've seen this joke so many times and everytime i see it, it still makes me laugh just as hard as the first time i saw it, you guys are awesome lol

[windsong]

I get in trouble when I post something and they said I should of done a emtcity search, because there was one just like yours Hostess, done a while back. :wink:

[ohceedee]

Paramedics- Another way to say A pair of medics.

Dude, you know that's only in one place.

[FireMedic47]

Well since i consider myself a redneck.....figured i would share this one with you..........Next time your in need of calling off a shift, tell them you have rectal glaucoma.............which interprits "I cant see my a$$ comming to work today"

[96xjGuy]

rectal glaucoma.............which interprits "I cant see my a$$ comming to work today"

I believe thats closely related to "anal cataracts"