12 Days of Xmas--EMS Style

[akflightmedic]

The Twelve Days of Cristmas EMS Style...

On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me...

Grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...

2 MG of Narcan for the out of work person who wants to end it all by

taking her Husband's pain pills and won't tell me what she took and

is feeling suicidal....

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....

Three stacked shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying

the neighbor kid 5 bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it

himself and have the big one in the driveway...

2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off herself...

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee..

On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....

4 AM in the morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone

has had the flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to

the hospital.... NOW,...

Three Stacked shocks for the full arrested popsicle,

2 MG of Narcan for Morphine eating Momma...

and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...

Five minutes to eat.....

4 AM shuttle call,

Three stacked shocks,

2 MG of Narcan,

and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....

Six run reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the

system...

Five Minutes to eat!!!!!!!!! !

4 AM Shuttle,

3 zaps to the chest,

gonna have a stomach pumped,

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven

car pile up while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can

get into Wal Mart the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only

4 dancing Elmo Dolls...

six reports behind...

Five minutes to eat.......

4AM is way to early,

3 stacked shocks,

2 of Narcan Pushed,

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight

flights of steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is

having shortness of breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh,

and of course, the elevator doesn't

work...

7 cars a crunching,

six reports a writing,

Five minutes to eat.

4 AM shuttle,

CPR in progress,

2 MG of Narcan,

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine

blankets needed to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we

aren't even out of the house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia

and die for all of the 10 seconds we are outside...

Eight flights of stairs,

should have stayed home and bought it off of Ebay,

six reports I'm writing...

Five minutes to eat.....

What the Hell time is it,

should have paid the kid,

2MG of Narcan,

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...

Ten Minutes till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are

busy figuring out who is going to lunch next....

Nine blankets needed,

Hope fire department is coming,

7 cars a crunching,

six reports I need to write,

Five minutes to eat...

Can't you wait till morning,

stick a fork in him, he's done,

Man I hope she shuts up...

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....

Eleven times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the

truck and maintainence won't take the truck in...

ten minutes waiting,

Nine blankets needed,

eight flights of steps to climb,

Hope you have Progressive,

Give me a new ink pen...

Five minutes to eat....

4 AM is early,

3 Leads all show he's dead,

2 MG won't touch her..

and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...

a 12 Gague IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried

to swing at me...

it's really freezing,

Hope you choke on your sandwich,

9 blankets for grandpa,

How did you get up here in the first place,

man your husband is gonna be pissed,

six reports STILL down...

five minutes to eat...

Better than taking them back,

Hope I recorded the code,

Man, just pass out already...

and grandma who fell and hit her knee...

Edit: I am getting sloppy in my old age. Credit of this goes to author unknown. I did not write this and I must have left it off by hurrying and not paying attention. Regardless, it is funny and I just wanted to share.

[Just Plain Ruff]

so true so true but the problem with that song is that it doesnt really flow well with the music. such is life in EMS where everything doesn't flow well at times.

Merry Christmas everyone

[emtkelley]

Ha ha, I am going to c&p that and send it to my instructor. He'll get a kick out of it.

[Eydawn]

ROFL! If I don't get off the city in the next 10 minutes I'm never getting this damn essay done. Very well done, AK!

Wendy

CO EMT-B

MI EMT-B

Why is the City such a good place to procrastinate pointless work?

[steph1030]

i have seen this before but it is wayyy too funny!!!!

thanks for the laugh,ak

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!! :santa:

[nypamedic43]

OMG!!!!! Wayyyyy tooo funny!!! Thanks AK for the great laugh, I needed that.

[windsong]

I'll be printing this out for the ED at the Rockyview General, my fiance fell and his his head, then while he was waiting with medics he had a seizure.

Now what does this have to do with him, well I have to do a scoop and run and bring him home, so before I do I'll be giving this to the medics at the hospital, wish them merry christmas and leave. :wink:

Thanks AK, Hope your doing fine, wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas.

it's -24, windchill is -33 right now,

last night it was

-28 and windchill was -41.

[bbbrammer]

Sweet! I like that. I am glad you put it on here, now I am going to have to print it off and put it up at the station.