If Men Wrote Advice Columns

[akflightmedic]

>IF MEN WROTE ADVICE COLUMNS……

>

>Q: MY HUSBAND WANTS TO DO A THREESOME WITH ME AND MY BEST GIRLFRIEND.

>

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing; your best girlfriend! Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together.

> Why not get some of your old college girlfriends involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you.

>If you're still not sure then just give him a blow job and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

>

>

>Q: MY HUSBAND CONTINUALLY ASKS ME TO GIVE HIM BLOW JOBS.

>

>

>A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight, is made of proteins and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.

The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

>

>

>Q: MY HUSBAND ALWAYS GOES OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS AT NIGHT.

>

>

>A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best girlfriend to give him a blow job together and then cook him a nice meal.

>

>

>Q: MY HUSBAND DOESN’T KNOW WHERE MY CLITORIS IS.

>

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it on your own time or ask your best girlfriend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift.

To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

>

>

>Q: MY HUSBAND DOESN’T SPEND ANY TIME ON FOREPLAY.

>

>

>A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay.

What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!

Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

>

>Q: WHEN MY HUSBAND HAS HIS ORGASM, HE ALWAYS ROLLS OVER AND GOES TO SLEEP AND FORGETS ABOUT MY ORGASM.

>

>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.

> Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

[SSG G-man]

Damn, that coffee through my nose hurt!!!!! =D>

[BushyFromOz]

=D> :lol:/ :thumbright: :lol:/ =D>

One of the funniest things ive seen for a while...oon ya ak!

[Ridryder 911]

Wow! No comments from women yet?...

Too funny...

R/r911

[MeekoBB]

Q: WHEN MY HUSBAND HAS HIS ORGASM, HE ALWAYS ROLLS OVER AND GOES TO SLEEP AND FORGETS ABOUT MY ORGASM.

>

>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem.

> Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

I'll cook dinner...

Hmmm....

*pour lots of laxative syrup into spaghetti sauce*

Hmmm.....

[Kountess]

:angryfire: :cussing: :mumum: :pain10: :banghead: :pottytrain2: AK!!!!!!!!!! dude you best be glad your so far away!!!!! coming to visit soon??? I will have dinner for you alright exlax cocktail, as for desert I will let Roy make it

[kount]

Wow! No comments from women yet?...

Too funny...

R/r911

There is one simple reason for no comment from a woman yet.. we didnt give any of them permission to respond to this thread!!!!!!!

[chaser]

I'll cook dinner...

Hmmm....

*pour lots of laxative syrup into spaghetti sauce*

Hmmm.....

I would add a glass of red with a splash of Visine, and serve it with a smile of course.... :wink:

[MeekoBB]

Kinda reminds me of the scene in Something To Talk About with Dennis Quade....his character's wife cooks a meal giving him pretty much food poisoning after discovering he's cheating on her.

[emtpsaveu911]

There is one simple reason for no comment from a woman yet.. we didnt give any of them permission to respond to this thread!!!!!!!

:wink: