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Posted

Q. What do you call a paramedic with brain damage?

A. An EMT.

You know why EMT's don't need "saving?" because if they actually managed to somehow screw up their job, they would be eligible for mental disability. I've fought this war many times and somehow I just never get tired of it. Bring it on.

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Posted

EMS quotes:

"EMT: Elvis Museum Trinket"

"EMT: Every Manual Task"

"Paramedic: French for God"

"You can't spell PROBLEMS without EMS!"

Non-EMS quotes:

"Keep honking, I'm reloading"!

"Keep honking, you're easier to track that way"

"Warning: I'm currently in an alternate dimension."

And my all time fave:

"Your head is so far up your ass, that lump in your throat has got to be your nose!"

Chazzer

Posted

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?"

The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't niver seen nobody do it!"

Sorry just had to share this :lol:

Posted

"I'll bet you'd drive better with that cell phone up your arse..."

"My Redbone Coonhound is smarter than your honor student"

"Golf is a good walk- spoilt" (Mark Twain)

Ah.. I can't think of any more at the moment... but these three are some of my favorites.

Wendy

CO EMT-B

MI EMT-B

Posted

Calling a thread EMTs vs Medics and not expecting a jihad is like throwing a grenade into the room and saying "pay no attention to that, Im just dusting." We each have our own cross to bear and hopefully do it well. Besides, if it werent for EMTs who would drive when the medic cant get his belly behind the steering wheel anymore? Remember kids, before Basic or Paramedic, it always says EMT. Cant we all just get along. I dont have the energy for another holocaust before Christmas. Oh well. At least I didnt start this one.

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