reasons for no sex a he said she said perspective

[steph1030]

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

>During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

>I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

>The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

>54 times the sheets were clean

>17 times it was too late

>49 times you were too tired

>20 times it was too hot

>15 times you pretended to be sleep

>22 times you had a headache

>17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

>16 times you said you were too sore

>12 times it was the wrong time of the month

>19 times you had to get up early

>9 times you said weren't in the mood

>7 times you were sunburned

>6 times you were watching the late show

>5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

>3 times you said the neighbors would hear us

>9 times you said your mother would hear us

>

>Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

>

>6 times you just lay there

>8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

>4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

>7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

>1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

>

>KEEP READING.......

>

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>TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

>I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't

>get more than you did:

>5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

>36 times you did not come home at all

>21 times you didn't cum

>33 times you came too soon

>19 times you went soft before you got in

>38 times you worked too late

>10 times you got cramps in your toes

>29 times you had to get up early to play golf

>2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

>4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

>3 times you had a cold and your nose was running

>2 times you had a splinter in your finger

>20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

>6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

>98 times you were too busy watching TV

>Of the times we did get together:

>The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the

>sheets.

>I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would

>you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

>The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to

>breathe.

>

>Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.

>This game has been played since 1996. You must send this letter to 7

>people.

[bbbrammer]

Oh, that was great! I sent a copy of it to all my friends, they loved it too.