ALS Provider..........The patient Awoke Unresponsive.

[MAGICFITZPATRICK]

How many times have you been in your truck on a scene and heard the most ridiculous thing and wish you had it on tape. here are some of the craziest!

(1)

Dispatcher: [unit] 7xx.

Unit: 7xx go [ahead].

Dispatcher: Respond over to xxxx xxxxx street for the swollen penis.

Unit 7xx: (keys the mic but is laughing so hard he can't talk. His partner, not realising the mic was on, said:) what the f*ck?

(Of course my idiotic partner had to put in her twe cents and said "no cussing on the radio." But I was just gonna die laughing!)

(2)

EMT: Central Send us medics for an AMS

Central: Aren't you down the block from ######## Hospital

EMT: Yeah

Central: So take the Pt to the hospital

Few min later EMT:are we gonna get medics?

Central: PUSH THE COT ACROSS THE STREET TO THE HOSPITAL

EMT: Uhhhhhhh, OK

(3)

Supervisor: What's everyone's status? (After a second call)

Unit 1: I'm clear

Unit 2: I'm clear too

Supervisor: We're all clear!

Unit 1: PUSH TO SHOCK! PUSH TO SHOCK!

(4)

Unit1: There is no one answering can you try the callback

Dispatch: are you at the apartment door or the building door

Unit1: the apartment door.

Dispatch: Standby.. oh wait the text says she can't come to the door, I'll have to send you resources for entry.

Unit1: That's great, now you notice, what do we do in the mean time?

Unknown Unit: Huff and Puff and blow the door down!!!

(5)

Dispatch: EMS 125, respond for an assault, outside the Have A Nice Day Cafe

(6)

49D: Conditions 49 (the supervisor) Just got hit by a car we need another conditions supervisor!

Dispatch: Is the supervisor all right?

49D: 10-5 (repeat)

Dispatch: do you need another bus for the supervisor?

49D: Oh yeah I guess so. (can you feel the love)?

(7)

54V: Central put us down mechanical at XXX and XXX, the bus won't go

Central: 10-4 54Y and 47A respond to 54V job.

1 min later: 54V: Central be advised the Pt came to us, we are treating at location of breakdown.

Central: 47A and 54Y new location is XXX and XXX in 54V

47A: 10-4 We are pulling up behind 54V now.

54V: cancel 54Y we will transport in 47A

After call: 54V: 54V comming out of hosp ## being escorted back to our broken down junkheap via 47A

Central: 10-5 (repeate)

54V: comming out of hosp## hitching a ride back to our broken bus via 47A

Central: (laughing) 10-4

(Cool

Dispatcher: Unit 69

Unit: 69

Dispatcher: Unit 69 report to 123rd and Elm Code 4 (transfer)

Unit: 10-60 (more info)

Dispatcher: 123rd and Elm, There is a schizophrenic man at the pay phone of Quicktrip, who ran out of his meds and dose not have enuff money to pay for a cab so he called us and wants a ride to the hospital so he can pick them up.

Unit: (EMT Laughting in background) Paramedic: 10-4 in route (mic still keyed) Oh-Goodie our first call of the evening.

(9)

Mather hosp we are enroute to your facility with 2 patients, the first complaining of resp distress, and psychiatric emergency, the 2nd c/o psychiatric emergency, our ETA...

Not soon enough.. er 5 min.

(10)

ALS Provider: The patient Awoke Unresponsive.

+++++++++++THE REST++++++++++

ALS Provider:Can I give an ventolin updraft?

ALS Provider:Can I give thiamin IM

MC: Why?

ALS Provider: I don't know but you can give it IM right?

MC(for an RMA): Who called you?

EMT: Medcom

ALS Provider:What should I do with this patient?

ALS Provider: The patient is unconscious

MC: Does he have a pulse?

ALS Provider:No

MC: Are you doing CPR?

ALS Provider:No should I

EMT (to ALS Provider): he said to give an epipeane and atroephine.

[paramedicmike]

If you're trying to be funny, the "funny stuff" forum is down just a few from this one.

If you're not trying to be funny, are you trying to outline and address the shortcomings of providers in your system? Can you think of a better way to address it?

:roll:

-be safe

[JCicco345]

WOW. Sounds like you have some excellent providers.