You just can't make this stuff up

[ERDoc]

The best part has to be the first comment by Chief Walker. Even the police chief can't keep a straight face.

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.

Butts insisted it was the first time she'd pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney's advice.

The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state's habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions.

Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

[Just Plain Ruff]

No if's and's or Butts is that she's goin to jail.

3 years for 3 rolls of TP. That's one year per roll. Hopefully they were good rolls and worth it.

[Dustdevil]

Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

Because it's only been a week, so he hasn't had time to ask her? First rate detective he is, eh? :?

Or perhaps that is one of those questions her attorney advised her against answering.

[Just Plain Ruff]

maybe she finds the toilets and toilet paper at the court house to be of better quality than she can get at the local convenience store.

[ERDoc]

maybe she finds the toilets and toilet paper at the court house to be of better quality than she can get at the local convenience store.

I find it hard to believe that any government building would have very comfortable TP. Maybe this chick was into S&M and wanted something that was rough! :shock:

[Just Plain Ruff]

But suffice it to say she should be the butt of the jokes by leno and letterman.

Anyone want to try to put together a top ten list?

[ERDoc]

But suffice it to say she should be the butt of the jokes by leno and letterman.

Anyone want to try to put together a top ten list?

We should put this HOLE thing to an END before it goes too far.

[Dustdevil]

Something about this just stinks.

This charge is going to look pretty shitty on her record.

Maybe her attorney can get the hole thing wiped clean.

Or at least stall it.

[ERDoc]

Something about this just stinks.

This charge is going to look pretty shitty on her record.

Maybe her attorney can get the hole thing wiped clean.

Or at least stall it.

You crack me up.

[chaser]

Because it's only been a week, so he hasn't had time to ask her? First rate detective he is, eh?

Maybe he didn't want 2 ply her with questions, I'm sure the truth with leak out with time. Perhaps he was just pooped and wanted a rest for a bit. It is a big job.