On our (US) Independence Day...

[ERDoc]

Things Found Only in America

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Man I love this country.

[spenac]

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Good thing we don't make the promise 30 minutes or less or it's free

[iMac]

Another reminder why I'm Canadian...

[AZCEP]

Come now, there is just as much silliness in Canada.

You just do a better job of sending it south, than we do sending it north.

[Dooger]

So you think Americans are special... Canadians are even more "special":

Canadians... stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

Canadians... are not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".

Canadians... understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my POUTINE" !

Canadians... eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

Canadians... drink pop, not soda.

Canadians... had a Prime Minister who wasn't fluent in either of the official languages (English & French).

Canadians... know what it means to be 'on pogey'.

Canadians... know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at thecamp, eh?!"

Canadians... can drink legally while still a teen in some provinces.

Canadians... don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with very good cigars.

Canadians... when there is a social problem, we turn to their government to fix it, instead of telling them to stay out of it.

Canadians... are not sure if the leader of their nation has EVER had sex and don't WANT to know if he has!

Canadians... get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

Canadians... know Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

Canadians... drive on a highway, not a freeway.

Canadians... know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

Canadians... have Canadian Tire money in their kitchen drawers.

Canadians... know that Mounties "don't always look like that."

Canadians... dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."

Canadians... know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.

Canadians... know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

Canadians... drive with their headlights on during the day (since 1989, all new cars have been fitted with "daytime running lights").

Canadians... participated in "Participaction."

Canadians... have an Inuit carving by their bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."

Canadians... wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.

Canadians... like any international assasin/terrorist/spy in the world, possess a Canadian Passport.

Canadians... know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to our extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

Canadians... are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

Canadians... make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.

Canadians... can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

Canadians... were mad at the CBC when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.

Canadians... know who "Relic" is/was.

Canadians... know what a touque is, own one and often wear it.

Canadians... have heard of ... and have some cherished momento of Bob and Doug McKenzie.

Canadians... know Toronto is NOT a province.

Canadians... never miss "Coach's Corner" during Hockey Night in Canada.

Canadians... recognize that back bacon and Kraft Dinner are food groups.

Canadians... have a cord and plug sticking out of the grill of their car ... it's a block heater for those sub-zero (in Celsius) days.

Canadians... cook on a BBQ (Bar-B-Que) not a grill

Canadians... only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

Canadians... design their Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Canadians... mosquitoes have landing lights.

Canadians... have more kilometres on their snow blower than their car.

Canadians... have favourite recipes for moose meat.

Canadian Tire Store on any Saturday is busier than most toy stores at Christmas.

Canadians... take their kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Canadians... like driving better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with frozen snow and slush.

Canadians... think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

Canadians... owe more money on their snowmobile than their car.

Canadians... newspapers covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

Canadians... the kitchens double as a meat processing plant.

Canadians... most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Canadian... snowblowers get stuck on the roof.

Canadians... think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

Canadians... head South to go to your cottage.

Canadians... frequently clean grease off their barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

Canadians... know which leaves make good toilet paper now that there are no more dollar bills.

Canadians... find -40C a little chilly.

Canadians... attend a formal event in their best clothes, their finest jewellery and their Sorels.

Canadians... can play road hockey on skates.

Canadians... know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

Canadians... pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "zed" instead of "zee."

Canadians... end most sentences with "eh."

[align=center:699f1c7a21] So there... EH! [/align:699f1c7a21]

[Bethadone]

I'm suddenly so self-conscious of my Canadian-ness...and shocked that a BBQ is known by any other name!!

Canadians... know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at thecamp, eh?!"

Camp eh? Only in Northern Ontario. In Southern Ontario it would be a mickey, a 2-4 and a "party at the cottage, eh?", out west it would be a mickey, a case and a "party at the cabin, eh?"

Canadians... can drink legally while still a teen in some provinces.

Actually, in ALL provinces, but some the drinking age is 18, others it's 19. I think the list is a little outdated.

Also, you missed a key Canadian special thing...Rye! Which, as I discovered after a lengthy discussion with a bartender in Boston, is known to you Yanks as "Canadian whiskey"

[Dustdevil]

Only in America would you smoke a Chesterfield instead of sitting on it.

I like what Englishman John Cleese (of Monty Python fame) once said about the difference between the UK and the U.S.:

[align=center:d507aea0e4]"When we hold a 'World Championship,' we actually invite other nations to participate!" [/align:d507aea0e4]