Funniest EMS stories

[dragonpaco]

post your funniest calls. EMS stories here. if i had one i'd post one but i dont...

[Bombera]

We rolled on a drunk in public. Basically a "you go with the police or to the hospital case". When I tried to put a n/c on this guy, he swung at me so we restrained him for transport. When we got to the hospital, I was waiting with him, while my partner found out which bed he was going to and then he realized that I was a girl and decided to flirt with me by saying that he was so strong that he could get free from the restraints. He pulled and pulled on the wrist restraints until his dislodged the IV that the fire medics had placed and his blood went everywhere and of course he did not get himself free from the restraints! hahaha

Patients can be really hilarious and I am looking forward to any really funny stories that anyone has.

[swedbabe2002]

we were called to an asthmatic male patient. on arrival we realized he wasn't asthmatic just drunk. we got him in the back of the truck and i started doing vitals. after i had finished the patient clutched his chest and asked me to check his pulse again. when i did he started stroking my hand and stared at me with this huge grin on his face. my partner was laughing his ass off!! then the patient asked me to check his blood pressure again. when i did he faked passing out....right on me!! i pushed him away and did the sternal rub to "wake" him back up. when we got to the hospital my partner said if a patient rubs your hand it's ok to kiss him on the cheek. i got so much grief for that call!

[Happiness]

Pretty early in my career may partner and were transporting a pt from one hospital to another one, who had jumped off the pier in strong tides for a bottle of vodka. One of the sober men jumped after him and dragged him out. He had a IV running and was naked in a tinfoil blanket with a lot of heat packs and blankets. My partner was doing a set of vitals and noticed blood by his arm so she asked me to pull over so she could see what was going on. Nexted I hear omg what the hell and after I asked she said the neddle had broken and the pt was bleeding and the saline had pooled around the pt. After we got him cleaned up I was just about to pull out and I hear I have to pee. My partner got the urinal and was trying to convince him to let her help as he was pissed as a nit. (Trust me this was not a man you wanted to see naked) I guess he said okay she could help and then 10 sec later I hear YOUR PEEING ON MY HANDS. The look on her face and the fact she was getting peed on may me laugh for the rest of the transfer. On the way home she didn't say one word to me. We are still great friends.

[almihu]

My P and I got a call for a possible shooting. We arrived on scene to find a guy walking around the house we approach him and he states that he was not the one shot, he told us that he picked up a guy that flaged him down saying he was shot. The pt asked the guy to take him to his sisters house so he did but no one was there. So he called us. My P walked to the truck opened the door and the guy fell out in a huge water puddle. I already had the stretcher out so we grabbed him up and flung him on the stretcher, he let us with out any issues then he realized that there was people there and started screaming about wanting his baby, he was poo poo face drunk. We searched for the wound and strapped him down he had a lac that could have been a bullet graze. We put him in the truck and cut his pants the whole time hes sceaming that he wants his baby. He decides that screaming wasn't enough and started thrashing around and trying to climb out of the ambulance and swinging at my P when he tried to unbuckle him. I called the Sheriffs Officer over to the unit and he pulls out his spray, my partner started screaming louder than the pt as he was still in the truck. SO put his spray away and pulled out his tazer, mind you the guy was still strapped to the stretcher by one strap, and couldn't thrash his way out of it. SO gave his warning then shot. The pt fell back on the stretcher and did the tazer seizure. But after he stopped tazing him the pt continued to try and thrash around and got it 2 more times. Then he finally stopped. SO rode in with us prepared to dry stun him but the guy learned his lesson and decided that screaming was enough and didn't fight anymore.

[almihu]

This was a while ago when I was a newbie on a truck and still excited about working. We got a call right at shift change and I offered to go with, I was green! We get to this apartment complex that houses special need people that can still care for them selves and don't quiet need a nursing home just a little help. There is the mentally handicapped 30 something year old women who obviously had the mind of a young child. She has NA's that come in and shop for her and give her medication but for the most part she lives on her own. She gets mad at the NA's cause they don't play with her or they force her to take her meds and she beats herself up and calls 911 and says that the NA's did it. She always admits to that fact after we get to the hospital. This particular time she has "gone" all over the living room and smeared it everywhere in the house and on her self, and even ate it. She would say nothing but mew like a cat we get there and we ask if she wants to go to the hospital and she mews. We take that as a yes. The Paramedic tells her that he will not let her in the unit unless she gets up and takes a shower and puts on clean clothes. She gets up takes a shower and gets dressed and we walk her to the unit. Still she is saying nothing, just mewing. The paramedic gives the look to his basic and me like, " you know this ones yours ". We climb in the unit and I sit in the jump seat and the other basic takes vitals. There is a cubby between the cab and the box of the unit just big enough to hear someone yell stop, or to throw a dirty glove at the head of the driver. Every time the pt mewed the paramedic who was driving would bark, me and the other emt were laughing so hard we were crying. The pt couldn't hear him bark but she did notice us laughing and she thought that we were laughing at her and this made her happy so she would mew even more and started laughing with us. It was the only time you would ever be able to get away with laughing hysterically in front of the pt.

[Chief1C]

We had 17 runs in the 24 hours.. I was really tired. The tones went off.. I ignored it and kept sleeping. I was laughing so hard inside.

Nobody Died. Woo Hoo!

[harleymedic]

We live in a small town and we got a call to a place we have been many times. About 5 of us showed up plus PD. The senior medic started talking to the patient who has "chronic" neck and back pain. The pt is about equal to 2 of us in size, about 325 and 6'3" tall and she is lying on the couch. So the senior medic is trying to convince the pt to move to the cot herself. Oh, by the way, did I mention the house smelt nasty. So the senior medic takes a step closer to the couch and her foot goes under the couch a little and she feels a vibrating sensation. She asks the pt "Oh is this one of those new vibrating...uh ooh my!" As she looks down she sees the vibrator that her foot turned on. The patient states this is for her neck. One of the other newbies begins to gag and runs outside. I follow him as if to assist him but I just couldn't hold in the laughter anymore and I totally lost it outside as the newbie is continuing to gag. Well, it's been about 5 years and the newbie still gets crap about it...from all of us!!!

[harleymedic]

Ok, I've got another. Same "newbie" but he is now an EMT-I. On the scene of a code blue the senior medic applies the cardiac monitor and confirms asystole in 2 leads and by the way some lividity is noticed by all...or so it is thought. So the "newbie" says to the senior medic "Do you want me to get a blood sugar?" The only answer was a look that clearly stated "are you serious?" Boy, I hope this "newbie" isn't a member here.

[rocket]

Here's a cute one:

Dispatched to a chest pain call. Elderly female, way hypertensive, with anxiety issues.

Between the time of call and the arrival of our unit she realizes that her problem may just be heartburn. She is a nice lady. When we arrive she is apologetic for "dragging us out here" for her problem. She agrees to go for eval nonetheless. As we are packaging her up she keeps apologizing for all of the furniture and knick-knacks that are taking up floor space around the stretcher.

The conversation as we head out of the residence goes a little like this:

Us: "Thanks for agreeing to go get checked out".

Her: "I'm so embarrassed about this. Does anything look wrong with me?"

Us: "Well your EKG looks unremarkable and your lungs are clear. Your oxygen levels look good but your blood pressure is definitely high". We'll check a few more things along the way but the Doctors will be able to have a much more comprehensive look at you."

Her: "So my heart looks OK then? Good. Good. I think this all might just be heartburn. Do you think it could be heartburn?"

Us: "It's possible, but it's best to get it checked out by the Doctors."

Her: I feel so foolish about all of this. I think it's just heartburn. I'll die if it's just heartburn".

Us: "No you won't"

Her: "Oh yeah. That probably wasn't the best way to put it, huh?"

(laughs all around)

-Trevor