Funniest EMS stories

[markdido]

Anybody remember the show "In Living Color", specifically "Homie the Clown?"

A long, LONG time ago, we were out on a gunshot call.

Nothing serious, a local "yute" had been grazed in the right upper arm.

We had a brand new CT (Cardiac Tech) on board who saw this as a good opportunity to get a stick.

She's getting ready to stick the guy when he snatches his hand back and says "Homie don't play that sh*t"

Our CT, who obviously never say "In Living Color" says... "well, Mr. Homie, I have to get this IV started..."

Even the patient started laughing and let her get her stick.....

[ninjaemtff]

Whats a yute?

[mrmeaner]

Whats a yute?

Joe Pesci saying "youth." See below for more information, beginning at 9 minutes if you want to skip to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q7mjoxHzm4

[Richard B the EMT]

I remember the quote. It was said by the judge in a murder trial, played by Fred Gwynn, in "My Cousin Vinnie", as he didn't recognize the Brooklyn regional accent used by Joe Pesci, as "Vinnie", saying "youth."

It would be Gwynn's second to final role, as he would die soon after. I will always remember him as Herman Munster, the father in the 60s TV show, "The Munsters".

[Expotential]

I was running a night shift at my station (which happens to be in the middle of the city) so whenever another station gets a call if another call comes in that is in their area we usually end up responding.

so its about 1:30am on a friday morning, The tones are not working. we had a 4 man squad that night, 1 observer 1 intern, 3 of us were awake watching movies on the TV, I have my radio on so we know when a call comes through to us. (Radio tones go off, but not station tones)

Dispatcher: "1620 please respond to <enter address here> at <a local gay bar> priority 1 (lights and sirens possible life threatening) for an unconscious male of an unknown age, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH THE REAR" (oh hahaha dispatch your really fucking funny)

Me: "1620 responding"

Dispatcher: "1620 is responding to the call at <a local gay bar> priority 1 for an unconscious male of an unknown age, correction, caller wants you to proceed through the front door"

<End of transmission>

so I walk over to my partners bed and try to wake him up by screaming his name at him and give up, I tell the intern its their turn.

the intern goes and taps on his shoulder.

partner: ".......eh......wha...?"

intern: "hey wake up we are going to the gay bar"

partner: "....oh??... kay.?.?"

my partner then proceeds to fall back asleep very quickly.

intern then informs him it is for a call and he gets up.

<time lapse is so awesome>

Arrive on scene

partner: "wow that chick is hot what is she doing here"

me: "agreed what the hell!?"

<radio>

Me: "dispatch this is 1620 we have arrived on scene"

Dispatcher: "10/4 1620 is on scene at <a local gay bar> please proceed through the front door"

<end of transmission>

we get out of the truck and start walking toward the building and said "hot chick" starts running toward us

hot chick?: (in a very deep voice) "Oh my god you have to help him he just fell over and is like... ... .. I dont know but he wont talk to us."

at this point everyone on my crew has this "OH MY FUCKING GOD look on our faces"

we go in and find a 78 year old man on the floor

we decided he had around 20-30 too many beers and take him to the hospital with a little bit of a fight after calling police and threatening to send him to the jail if he refuses treatment.

this guy is a complete asshole and we are quickly getting drunk off the fumes coming from his mouth, so we start transporting to the nearest hospital. we call the hospital and let them know we are coming, once we are literally less than 500 feet from said hospital they call us back and say that we have been diverted to not just another hospital but one of the furthest away in the city.

I was about ready to kill myself and everyone around me by the time that call was over.

[katbemeEMT-B]

This has happened to us twice now. Same lady, calls about four months apart.

Ricky Retard Dispatch: Ambulance, you're needed at <address> for, ahh, a female, ahh, who is not feeling, ahh, um, good and won't wake up. (About five second pause). You'll find her on the couch.

Okay, so after we finish laughing at Ricky, we put ourselves enroute. When we put ourselves on scene, Ricky says, "Did you copy she's on the couch?"

Laughter again while responding, "Copy"

We get inside and the home nurse says she can't rouse the patient. We do our assessment which is unremarkable, and yep, she's out. We begin the move to the cot when suddenly her hand falls off her chest and hits the cot. Well, this startles her and she wakes up swinging and bitching.

Patient: What the hell are you doing?

EMS: We're EMS, we received a call from your nurse that you wouldn't wake up.

Patient: Well, she's fucking stupid. What the hell are you waking me up for? Can't a person get some sleep when they're tired?

EMS: We understand that you're tired, but your nurse was concerned.

Patient: Oh, she can go to hell. She's a stupid bitch anyway. Just let me go back to sleep. I was up until 4am. Old people need their sleep you know.

EMS: I understand that, but your nurse was very concerned. Will you allow us to transport you just to be sure you're okay?

Patient: Concerned about me my ass. She's concerned about her paycheck. You can take me as long as you let me sleep. That means shut the hell up and don't talk to me.

We got her to the hospital and she was telling the truth. Nothing wrong with her except she was tired. When we got back to the garage, we laughed for quite a while over Ricky Retard's page. We never knew that it could take a minute and a half just to give an address and simple patient information. The ordeal with the patient made us laugh even harder. Gotta love the crotchety old ladies.

Oh yea, she has a new nurse. The other one quit because she didn't like being called a stupid bitch.

[White Cloud]

OMG as if this awesome topic was on page 35.

THese stories are great.

Lets revive it!

[fireboy28]

I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THE MOST FUNNIEST CALL IVE EVER BEEN ON WE WERE DISPATCHED ON 40YO MALE BEING ELECTROCUTED UPON ARRIVAL FOUND PT'S WIFE STRIKING THE CONVULSING PT WITH A 2X4 TRYING TO MOVE HIM FROM THE EXTENSION CORD AS I GRAB THE BAGS MY PARTNER WENT TO THE END OF THE CORD TO UNPLUG IT TO FIND THAT IT WAS NEVER PLUGGED IN APPARENTLY THE PT HAS A HISTORY OF EPILEPSY AFTER BEING STRUCK 48 TIMES WITH A 2X4 THE PT HAD A FRACTURED RIGHT RADIUS AND ULNA, A FLAIL SEGMENT, A RIDGE LEFT UPPER QUADRANT, AND COUNTLESS CONTUSIONS ON EVERY SIDE OF HIS TORSO AND EXTREMITIES. THE PT WAS FINE AFTER THREE SURGERIES AND HIS WIFE WAS NOT CHARGED WITH ANYTHING SHE JUST HAS TO LIVE WITH THE FACT OF BEATING HER HUSBAND HALF TO DEATH FOR NO REASON THEY ARE STILL HAPPILY MARRIED.

[Richard B the EMT]

Private service, patient prescheduled for admit to a local hospital. I'm working with a lady EMT, first time the two of us working together, but other EMTs in service like her skills.

We pull up at a building that looks like a setting for a film about a mugging. I'm no fighter, but had the old fashioned concept of, "What am I going to do to protect her, if someone attacks us"?

Just as I pushed the button to get the elevator, I hear the unmistakable sound of a "lockback" folding knife clicking into working position, from behind me.

First I froze, then turned around, slowly.

Lady EMT has the biggest damn folding knife I'd ever seen, and she is putting the knife, point end first, into her belt holster.

I'm going to protect HER?

[FireMedic65]

Once had a partner get stuck in a window when trying to make entry into a home.