Stupid Frequently Asked Questions

[JakeEMTP]

Would it be wrong of us to play the " Vonage" jingle as a siren tone when we have a patient who has " Hey y'all, watch this" syndrome?

[Lone Star]

Q. What does EMT stand for?

A. Excecutes Meddling Twits!

[Richard B the EMT]

Fact: When verbally responding to a stupid question from the public, the better you feel when you say it, will be exponentially feeling bad when your supervisor calls you in re a civilian complaint for having said it.

(Many of us have come close, and some crossed the line)

[slomedic13]

But say it with a smile and sweet voice, and they won't even realize you just gave them their "here's your sign" card!

[Lone Star]

Fact: When verbally responding to a stupid question from the public, the better you feel when you say it, will be exponentially feeling bad when your supervisor calls you in re a civilian complaint for having said it.

(Many of us have come close, and some crossed the line)

I've heard that statement worded slightly different:

The better it feels to say it, is directly proportional to the probability that it was the wrong thing to say.

[Richard B the EMT]

Then, do it in the manner of the "Ultimate Diplomat": Tell them to go to Hell in such a way, they actually look forward to the trip!

[Doczilla]

(after giving them the results, follow-up plan, instructions, etc., and telling them that the nurse will be in with their prescriptions and discharge paperwork)

Q: Is someone going to take the IV out?

A: No. It should rot and fall off in a couple of weeks.

I swear I get asked that EVERY shift.

'zilla

[Chrisclark]

Me: How long have you been a paramedic?

Partner: 19 years

Me: WOW that is longer than I have been alive...I bet you feel old!

[katbemeEMT-B]

Citizen: So why were you called out?

Me: Cuz' some one called 911 and said it was an emergency

Citizen: So who called?

Me: The person we took to the hospital

Citizen: You're not going to tell me anything, are you?

Me: By George, I think he's got it! Give this man a blue ribbon.